No Day 1's???

One of my favorite chapters in my book is all about my girlfriends. As an only child, my friends have always been my chosen family—the sisters I never had by birth but found through life’s journey. Friendships have shaped my world in ways I could never have imagined, offering a sisterhood that’s deep, enduring, and full of memories.

Some of my friendships go back to when I was nine years old, in the fourth grade. While we may not be as close as we once were, we still check in from time to time. Then there are my junior high, high school, and college frie

nds—people who saw me evolve through the most defining seasons of my life. Add to that the incredible friends I’ve made throughout my advertising career, and I realize I’ve built an incredible patchwork of relationships over the years.

What’s beautiful about this mosaic of friendships is that not everyone is close to each other, but each holds a unique place in my life. Some are the friends I call when I need career advice, others are my "laugh until we cry" crew, and a few are my spiritual anchors.

This brings me to a thought: Is it odd when you meet a woman (or man for that matter) has no long-standing friendships? You know, those “day ones”—the people who’ve seen you through bad fashion choices and worse relationships, awkward phases, and life’s milestones. There’s something about having history with people that feels grounding. It’s like having a living scrapbook of your life.

Of course, life happens. People move, priorities shift, and some friendships fade—and that’s okay. But when someone only has friends from the past three to five years, I can’t help but wonder: What happened to their earlier connections? Did they outgrow them, or was something deeper at play? Do they disrespect girl code or have some kind of weird energy?

I’m not saying that in every case you can’t trust someone without long-term friendships, but let’s be honest—there’s something a little unsettling about someone with zero “day one” friends. No childhood bestie who knows about that one time that stupid boy made you cry during recess. No high school BFF who knows about when you lost your virginity. No college confidant who remembers the time you accidentally threw up all over someone’s carpeted dorm room? It’s like meeting someone with no online footprint—mysterious, intriguing, and a bit suspicious.

Maybe it’s unfair, but in a world where everyone has at least one cringeworthy middle school memory someone else could blackmail them with, having no lifelong friendships feels...off. Who vouched for you when you were still figuring life out? Who saw you at your most awkward and stuck around anyway?

So while I’m not saying to side-eye every person without a lifelong BFF, I am saying...keep an eye open. Trust is built on shared history, and if someone has managed to get through life without any long-term witnesses, well...maybe they’re just too good at starting fresh.

Now excuse me while I vibe out. Alexa, play “Down For My Ni**az” by C-Murder.

XO,

BH